Wo Ai Ni
by blessedarethecracked
Summary: All Genis and Mithos's relationship is is a bittersweet affair of torment... until Mithos makes an ultimate sacrifice for him and reveals everything he could never say...


**Jus a little hint, if you can multitask try listening to Memories by Within Temptation while you're reading this.. I don't know why, it just seems to go well.. Enjoy! (as always, reviews are appriciated..!)**

**Disclaimer: why does everyone seem to need to write disclaimer notes? D'you think if I owned ToS I'd be writing fics like this? NO, I'd be resurrecting Mithos, estupido!**

"Genis…" A sweet flutter of a word sent a shiver down his spine and his own name made his stomach dance as Mithos' lips gently brushed against his ear. His lips parted as a soft moan escaped, which, to his helplessness only added to his captives persistence. He could feel him smiling at his trepidation through the darkness, a smile that most would consider genuine, but he knew better. This smile was coy, victorious and dangerous. It could have been mistaken for a sneer, but this would be wrong too. It was simply how Genis knew it would be. As it always would be. As it was… when he let Mithos have his way with him. Not that it was exactly hard to persuade the magician to re-enter the angel's world of darkness. He lay awake every night with a mixture of dread and exhilaration whether he would be conquered yet again. Not that it happened every night, no, that would make the chase less interesting, his visits as and when it pleased _him _kept him wondering, kept him wanting, kept him wishing it would be tonight, wishing it wouldn't be tonight. He hated it. He loved it. He yearned for it. His sister couldn't understand why, after a night of achingly painful bliss, he would snap at the smallest thing, shy away from her and find himself dissolving into tears when she called him pathetic, sobbing in agreement, begging her to give him the strength to end it, to give him the strength to make it last forever. She shook her head and didn't understand and he returned to his torment. Not that it was all painful, there were moments, there were _hours_ when he wouldn't change his situation for anything or anyone. Like tonight. Tonight hadn't been painful at all. Tonight had been… the way it should be… _genuine_. But he couldn't understand why.

Tonight, however, for the pale, slender angel that usually held total dominion over the powerless magician, had been sheer hell. Worse than any torment that he had put the half elf through, that wasn't torment, that was simply the pain that comes with love. This on the other hand was out of his control it was the magician who was the only one who could save him. And he hated it. And he loved it. And he had wanted to say it for so long that now he could, it was killing him.

"Tell me" The half elf said simply, shifting the angels head onto his chest as his hand gently entwined in his hair.

"I lost my wings today" he replied, unblinking, his fingertips tracing some mindless message on Genis's chest. The half elf ran his hand gently down Mithos's back, making him inhale sharply with pain, yet simultaneously arc his back in pleasure. Genis' fingers came to rest on two ugly welts in the angel's back, which he traced tenderly. The gashes were deep, but they had healed quickly so all that was left were deep white scars that were fading, and occasional spatters of blood that he was caressing away. They had healed so quickly it was almost as if he had already known it was going to happen… his body had been preparing for it…he had... he had done it to… himself?

Genis instinctively pulled the pale man's body closer to his, holding him deeper, protectively. Mithos's arms encircled his waist, allowing himself to be comforted, nestling his head deeper to his chest.

"Did- did it hurt?" Genis' fingers still danced over the scars as if they were trying to take the pain away, trying to heal them. He didn't realise he had already healed to angel more than possible. Mithos' arms gripped his chest tighter and he shrugged.

"A bit. Not as much as I thought it would." he gazed at Genis, captivated by him. "It was worth it."

Genis tilted his head and cupped Mithos's face with his hands.

"What's happened?"

Suddenly pulling away from him, Mithos sighed and ran his hands through his hair.

"I-nothing, I just-"

He abruptly wrenched himself from Genis' warmth completely, before turning back and pinning the half elf to the bed beneath him. "_I hate this_" he cried, shaking with determination as he gazed down at Genis, tears streaming down his cheeks and onto Genis's chest.

_Crying. He was crying for the first time.. _

"_I can't stand it, don't you see_?? That's why I had to, that's why I did it - I _can't_ go on like this! I-I have to end it, I want to en-"

"NO" Genis's voice was fraught, scared. He continued anyway.

"Genis, listen. I can't live with myself this way. D'you think I _like _it? D'you think I _enjoy_ hurting you?? I put you through hell and you COME BACK to me ANYWAY and I WON'T do it anymore!"

"But -"

"IT'S OVER." his breathing was rasped and the tears were still falling so thick, so fast down his face.

"I'm not going to hurt you anymore. That's why I did it -"

"_You can't leave me!_"

Mithos blinked, confused. And swallowed. "Well -I -I wasn't planning to-"

Genis tilted his head slightly "You said- you said it was over?"

"Yes- and it is. It kills me when I hurt you - so.. so I did it. I destroyed Yggdrasil. I'm mortal. And I can't go back. I don't want to leave you, Genis, I don't ever want to leave you. So I'm just Mithos. And you can control me as much as I can control you." He released his grip on Genis' wrists to wipe his eyes . "That's all I want to be- with you. You're all I want."

Genis's sorrow dissolved into disbelief. Raising himself on his elbows so he was face to face with Mithos, he studied his face."You're telling me you destroyed part of yourself.. for me? Because you hated hurting me?"

Mithos nodded as the tears began to dry, "I'm not him anymore. I won't be like him anymore. I just want to stay here with you, Genis. I just want to be with you.. if you'll have me. After everything I've done.."

Genis cupped Mithos' face and gently kissed his lips "You've done more for me than anyone ever has before. I thought… I thought you didn't care for me the way I've always cared about you…" This caused more tears and for Mithos to shake his head defiantly. Holding Genis gently he rested his forehead on his, and closed his eyes.

"Wo Ai Ni, Genis… and I'm sorry."


End file.
